A young woman stood on a balcony. She is expressionless, yet it would be a challenge to find more emotion on any other face. A cigarette ashtray sat on the table next to her, next to empty bottle of liquor. Strands of her thin black hair tickled her cheek, blowing with the soft cool breezes of the night, but she paid them little attention. Her eyes were focused elsewhere. Something beyond all the bright lights of the city below her…something that only she could see, past even the heavens above the night sky.
Suddenly, she burst into a bit of coughing, tearing her attention away from her thoughts. She cursed in between coughs, and after a minute or so, it finally subsided. She shook her head to clear her mind and watched the busy street below again, almost hungrily.
The cars drove past at fifty, sixty, maybe even seventy miles per hour. They were all so small down there. It was a long way down…
Slowly, she lifted a foot delicately out of one of her high-heeled shoes. Breathing hard, she lifted herself up on to the balcony. Her hands and legs trembled slightly as she managed to crawl on the railing. Slowly, her arms shaking with anticipation, she stood up on the railing.
Taking deep breaths, she watched the city below. Lights! Lights everywhere! Of all colors and shapes… Noise… Cars…moving so fast in the streets…it would be so easy. So very easy…
She held her arms out to steady herself. The wind was blowing in her hair, her face…she breathed slowly, watching the cars honk at each other. You’ve been wanting this, she reminded herself. Don’t you remember? All your problems gone in one easy swoop…
Her foot jerked out suddenly…this was it…but then… she panicked! I’m not ready! Her heart sped up as she fought to keep her balance and grabbed onto one of the poles that held the balcony roof.
Instantly, her heart slowed a little and she choked out tears—of both relief and disgust. She leaned against the balcony in desperation, and held her head close to her body. Her mind was whirling…she was relieved to still be alive…but…you could have done it…it would all be over with…no one would care…
She started coughing again. It subsided as she slowly climbed off the railing and sat on one of the chairs, now crying freely. “I can’t do it,” she whispered.
Suddenly, a voice spoke out of the darkness. “I’m quite glad you couldn’t.”
A silence passed between the two, until he finally said, “What did you think you were trying to do?”
Her eyes widened and she stood up quickly. She wiped her eyes and saw that her fingers were black. Her mascara was running now. Great.
Candlelight flickered in one of the previously dark balconies facing her. She could barely see a man sitting in the shadows there, watching her. She bit her lip, afraid and looked away from him.
He stood up and leaned against his balcony. There was a silence between them.
Flares of embarrassment showed on her cheeks as she retorted, “None of your business.”
Even though she couldn’t see his face, she could tell he was raising an eyebrow at her. “None of business, you say? I agree, we all have rights to privacy, miss…but when it’s a situation where a perfectly able young woman tries to throw her life away, I think I have the right to step in…”
She glared at him. “You don’t know anything about me,” she hissed.
“Obviously,” he agreed. “But, I do know that someone wouldn’t try something like that unless something…terrible happened.” He paused. She could hear the compassion in his voice as he whispered, “Whatever happened to you to make you want to do such a thing?”
She didn’t answer right away. Finally, she whispered, “I have no reason to live.” Her heart sped up as she talked. “I have no living family. I have very little friends, all of which would no doubt betray me in an instant if money was offered. My life so far has been an endless wasteland of chaos and desolation. Worst of all…” she paused, wetting her lips a little. “I’m sick. I’m weak. I can never be…strong…again.” She stopped as another wave of coughs wore her down.
The man waited for her to stop coughing. When she did, he said quietly, “So…you were just gonna let it all go. You were ready to give it all up. Let that disease defeat you.” He looked at her hard. “Let it…win.”
She blinked. The way he put it, it sounded cowardly. “I’m not letting anything win! I just…I know it would be better if I wasn’t here.” She closed her hand into a fist. “Besides…I’ll die eventually. I’m not strong enough to live much longer. What the point of prolonging my miserable life anymore?”
“Because,” he whispered. “Maybe this is your chance to finally be happy. You say your life’s been miserable. The truth is, it’s only miserable because you let it be. Start over,” he challenged. “Live, and even if you don’t live much longer, you could have the happiest years of your life.”
She shook her head desperately. “No…I can’t… I’m not strong enough…”
“Most people think you need a strong body to survive in this world,” he said matter-of-factly. “The truth is: a strong body’s nice to have, but what you need more is a strong heart, a strong spirit. A spirit that wavers like this candle’s flame…” He looked over at the candle whose light was in shining, “but can’t be snuffed out, like the candle can. You could almost say a strong spirit is a bit stubborn. You see, it never knows when to give up. It just keeps on shining its light, no matter what happens.
“You, miss, have a strong spirit. I can see it. But you aren’t letting it guide you. You’re letting everything bad dominate your life. Don’t let that happen.”
She looked at him for a long while, tears shining on her cheeks. Finally, she whispered, “What do I have to live for?”
He sighed. “Must you have something to live for? I’ll give you the answer to that: yourself. Live so you can finally have a chance to be happy. Who knows? Maybe tomorrow you’ll wake up and find something— someone…worth living for.”
She coughed harshly. “And what if I don’t?”
“So what if you don’t? There’s always tomorrow. Always. Unless, of course, you’re not alive. Then, you can never go back. Suicide is a very selfish and pointless act, you know. You often lose more than you gain when you commit it. You think you have nothing left…nothing to lose…the truth is, there’s always something left. In killing yourself, you lose it. It takes someone strong to not be selfish.” He looked at her. “I told you…you have a strong spirit. I’m going now. You are the only one who can decide for yourself. I trust that strong spirit to make the right choice…again.” He stood and snuffed the candle out. She heard a door close.
It was dark on that side now. And silent.
She pushed back some strands of her hair and looked out at the city again. “You have a strong spirit, miss…There’s always tomorrow…” She leaned against the railing. “…Make the right choice…”
She felt her throat muddle up as coughs took her again. She couldn’t think when coughing! She rubbed her throat anxiously and, quite suddenly, they stopped. She smiled in spite of herself. She could see the sun’s light start to brighten the dark night sky into beautiful streaks of pink and marigold. “Tomorrow,” she whispered. “No…today…will be a beautiful day. I can’t miss it…”
She looked over at the dark balcony. She picked a flower from one of the balcony plants and threw it in to the air. “Thank you,” she whispered, her eyes brimming with tears again.
She closed the balcony door behind her.

The flower floats down, down…and a curious man catches it. He chuckles slightly and tucks it into his back pocket. He walks into that very same building, thinking, How could an intact flower like this just be floating around… Suddenly, he crashes into an anxious-looking girl with mascara stains on her face. He laughs at his own clumsiness and apologizes to her.
She shrugs and then notices the flower in his pocket. How?…Suddenly, she hears the other man’s voice, ringing in her head…

“Tomorrow…something-someone to live for…”

Slowly, she grins at the man and introduces herself.

-el fin-